Toxic Love: What Is It Characterized By?

Toxic love occurs in many more relationships than we might imagine. These relationships gradually move on a downward slope whose end point is almost always separation.

However, it is possible that this type of love is a lesson that we have assimilated on our own. We have learned to be content with toxic love because of our fears, hopes, dreams, and misconceptions.

Today we talk about the characteristics of toxic love that prevent us from feeling happy and fulfilled in the relationship.

Toxic love

Trying to change your partner

In a toxic relationship, one partner tries to change the other. He wants him / her to correspond to the image created in his / her mind about what the ideal partner looks like or behaves. He does not accept and love the person next to him as he deserves.

In a toxic relationship, what you really love is the idea that one day you and your partner will become the perfect couple you dreamed of. This attitude only generates frustrations. Trying to change someone is a very difficult or even impossible task that consumes a lot of your energy.

Emotional addiction

We can say that this is one of the most harmful aspects when it comes to toxic love. The fear of loneliness and the thought that no one loves us makes us emotionally addicted. 

Sometimes, behind this behavior is a childhood full of emotional deficiencies and trauma that causes many problems in adult relationships.

Emotional addiction absorbs, consumes and confuses love with a powerful drug.

Possession is not love

This is another common mistake that leads to the breakup of many couples. Possession towards the partner, the tendency to overwhelm and control him is not love, but insecurity.

Remember: you don’t belong to anyone. You are a free person and not a good that another person owns.

Behind the desire to “own” your partner is the lack of trust in him. For example, you may be afraid that he is cheating on you or that he wants to break up with you.

Sometimes this insecurity stems from the fact that you yourself have these thoughts. At other times, it is the result of a negative experience that has left you traumatized.

He hits you because he feels frustrated

Hitting a person you “love” is not a justified action under any circumstances. No one has the right to raise their hand to you, whatever you do. Abuse, both physical and verbal, is a clear sign that your relationship is toxic.

It is necessary to discuss your differences. No one should obey the will of another person. You have to respect each other.

Give up friends

It is understandable that in the first months of the relationship you do not see your friends as often and that they are not even a priority. This new experience attracts you and you want to know as much as possible about the person who caught your attention in the shortest possible time.

However, when this behavior persists after a year, two or maybe even three, the situation can be a little more complicated.

Maybe you don’t want to go out anywhere if your partner doesn’t come with you. You don’t meet friends anymore if your half is not with you. This way, you get to see them much less often.

You may not have thought about it, but if you take care of it, a friendship can last a lifetime,  while a love affair often has its days numbered.

Be careful, if you end up breaking up with your partner, you will need the support of your friends. However, there may be no one there to offer it to you.

Love based on illusions

This is a type of toxic love that is hard for us to get rid of because it is related to the first stage of falling in love.

In the early stages of the relationship, expectations and illusions make us idealize our partner. But what happens along the way? All the things we have chosen to ignore are starting to annoy us.

Many people do not realize why their relationship changes over time. But mature love opens our eyes from the beginning. It is not carried away by the wave and expectations that are real only in our minds.

Did you find yourself in one of these types of toxic love? Now that you know more about them, try to avoid adopting these behaviors, even if it is a difficult thing that requires a lot of effort.